God has decided to open His heavenly faucets and rains are pelting down on us like never before. Indeed, it is an apocalypse. Although the weatherman warned that Noah’s ark replay might occur, it is evident that all of us in this rat and roach infested Uswaz have decorations instead of ears – we don’t listen at all. We have a tendency to forget that rains mean rain and that previous rains have wreaked havoc before. Uswaz is now like one big ocean that a huge Maersk ocean liner can easily sail through and dock without a hitch. Rivulets of brackish water and sewers unleash disease-causing filth from passport-size latrines-cum-bathrooms and the grim possibility of houses being swept to the Indian Ocean or sinking are unlimited and worrisome. We are praying all gods of Lake Victoria that the push does not become a shove.

The depressing reminder that Uswaz might literally drown came as I passed by Uswaz International School where my one-and-only woman Bisho Ntongo “eats” chalk. The kids sang with enthusiasm that “rain, rain, go away, come again another day, little Asha wants to play.

Kids want to play; I need as many dry days as possible to make it to the office where I wear out fingers on the keyboard writing third-rate columns like the one you are now reading. Rather than get amused, I felt this deep sorrow. What with leaky roofs?

The situation got worse when I passed by Hussein the Uswaz wag’s shack. The entire family was engrossed in an unending exercise of trying against all odds to fetch out water that had made habitation in that shack a living hell. As he moaned the drastic change in weather, I also felt sorry for my drinking chum Dr Winchinslauss Rwegoshora, his wives children, chicken, rats and roaches that are members of his household. My learned friend seems not to have been spared either. Although he lives in his own house in the heart of Uswaz, the agony of seeing the cesspit caving in has left him wondering what to do with all the stuff that comes from toilets in his house. In the meantime, pray that rains abates albeit for a couple of days!